Way of the drunken warrior

Written for the Mad Bar Wham Bam Poetry Slam.

(Spoken in a high-pitched nervousness)
Oh my God, I'm having the greatest time right now. Aren't you having a great time? Aren't we all just having the greatest time right now, sitting here at this table in this bar with these drinks and this company? GOD, I'm having a good time. Seriously, I mean that. I'm having the greatest time right now, right this very second, right as these words are coming out of my mouth I'm having the greatest time. One day in the future when I'm old, they'll tell me to think of all the great times I had as a youth and I'll think of this night, this very night. When I light this cigarette I'll think of what a great time I was having lighting this cigarette thinking about what a great time I was having. GOD, I'm having a great time! I want to make a toast. No, seriously, I want to make a toast to the great time we're having. We may never do this again! We may never all be in the same room again to have such a great time, so yes, a toast. A toast to the great time we're having and all my great friends who are helping me have this great time we're having.

(Performer steps to the side of the microphone and acts like an incredulous bystander)
Okay! Enough already!

(Performer steps back to the mic and acts confused)
Jeez, why are you in such a bad mood?

Copyright 2000, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved.