My girlfriend thanks you for all the great things you taught me about sex

Written for Erotic Poetry Night at Mad Bar's "Mental Graffiti."

Hey, I have a message from my girlfriend
She wanted me to thank you
for adding some more RAM to my hard drive
She wants to thank you
for going through the learning curve with me
so that I'm setting the high score
by the end of class.

My girlfriend thanks you
because she's having orgasms every day now
Screaming, kicking orgasms
that haunt her throughout the day
like some ghost
from one of those historical novels
that always get made into movies
by Oprah.
My girlfriend is glad
that you and I aren't seeing each other
I am also glad
that you and I aren't seeing each other
But boy, the lessons you taught me while we were together.
How to properly go down on a woman
How to properly give a blowjob
How to have anal sex so that it doesn 't hurt
How to smoke a cigarette and fuck at the same time.
My girlfriend thanks you
for all the nights she's been driven
to an angelic level of ecstacy
reaching out and touching the clouds
and marveling at how high she can possibly be
without needing an oxygen mask.

My girlfriend thanks you
for being a conniving, manipulative, bad bad BAD girlfriend.
I also thank you
for being a conniving, manipulative, bad bad BAD girlfriend
because I would've never then
met this woman
who makes me itch under my own skin
with lust
This woman
who is dirtier and kinkier
than even you
Who is better for me
than even you

Yes, my girlfriend thanks you
for the lessons you have taught me
that I can now apply
like a proud new fourth grader
on his first day of school.

She thanks you very, very much!

Copyright 1999, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved.