One of those moments

We had one of those moments, you know? I was at the bar and she came up to the bar and we glanced at each other for a moment, and in that moment, that split-second our eyes met, I mistook her for a former girlfriend, well, not a girlfriend really, a former lover, a good lover, a dirty lover, you know what I mean. She looked exactly like my lover, round eyes, square jaw, small breasts, big ass. A certain spark, you know, (pointing at eyes) right here, (pointing at stomach) right here, (pointing at hips) right here, a certain something that makes them just (stomps foot on stage) stand out in a crowd, you know? Like thge one person in color among a black-and-white early 80s video, or an overmarketed cola commercial, or a maudelin Spielberg movie, like the woman with an angelic aura walking in a crowd of idiots in a heavy metal song, like, like, like, like the woman in red in that scene in The Matrix, you know? And I'm halfway out of my stool, walking over to her to put my hand over her eyes and kiss her, a good kiss, a dirty kiss, you know what I mean. And I'm halfway out of my stool when I realize, no, that's not my former lover. Why, I don't know that woman at all. But it's too late by now. We've been staring at each other for three seconds now. And believe me, when you're staring at a beautiful random stranger, all traditional notions of spatial time go right out the window. A half-second of staring at a stranger is like every single final exam you ever took in college, added together, helplessly staring at that blank page, wondering where the fuck the professor came up with these fuckin' questions in the first place 'cause you sure don't remember them from the book, not like you actually read the book, you were too busy being 19 and thinking you're never gonna die and drinking Mad Dog 20/20 'cause it gets you fucked up real fast and hitting on girls with round eyes and square jaws, a certain something, a certain (stomps foot on stage) something. Yeah, that's how time becomes when you're staring at a beautiful stranger, and we've been staring at each other for three seconds, think about that. (staring at random stranger in the audience and counting very slowly)
One.
Two.
Three.
And I'm still halfway out of my stool, caught in an action pose, looking like the cover of a Beastie Boys 12 inch single, "I got the skills to pay the bills! BOOYAH!" And I know why I'm staring at her but I don't know why she's staring at ME, you know? We're having one of those moments, one of those "why are we staring at each other" moments. Why ARE we staring at each other? Do we know each other? We don't know each other. Why are we still looking at each other? Oh my God, do you think I'm hot? 'cause I think YOU'RE hot. Are you staring at me because you're attracted to me? Are you staring at me because I'm staring at you? Am I staring at you because you're staring at me? Are you going through the same thought process as me right now? Are you scared that I'm staring at you? Are you turned on that I'm staring at you? Should I say hello? Should I buy you a drink? Should I impetuously kiss you like something out of a 1940's screwball romantic comedy? WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL LOOKING AT EACH OTHER!!! It's amazing how many separate individual thoughts the human brain can have in the space of three seconds. And then she got her drink and I got my drink and she went back over and sat down with her friends. And that was that. But...we did have that moment.

Copyright 1999, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved.