They can have my Macintosh when they pry it from my cold dead fingers

I will not use your damn PC.
I will not use it, Jason I be.

I will not use it on my desk,
I will not use it on a test.
I will not use it with my toes,
I will not use it with Windows.

I will not use your damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

I will not give Bill Gates my time,
I won't let him commit that crime.
And yes, Netscape may sometimes fail,
but I WILL NOT use his MS Mail!

I will not use his damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

And don't tell ME the Mac is dead,
'cause frankly, that makes me see red.
Just who spoons out this shit you're fed?
Oh, Bill Gates, I think I said,
who whored himself and got in bed
with IBM, so full of dread,
well Mac still leads, as Mac has led,
so GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!
And burn it on your own CD,
I will not use your damn PC!

And I know it's Windows down at work...
but whaddya expect from those lousy jerks?
Who in their quest to save a cent
invented middle management?
Heads up their asses, worried about taxes,
they can't even send their own damn faxes.
That's how Dilbert came to be!
And they're going to choose a computer for me?

I will not use their damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

"Oh, I've got the solution!" you proudly say,
"Make all your troubles go away!
No more bullshit, no c: drive,
two words -- Windows 95."

AUGH!
The very thought just gives me hives!

I will not use your damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason I be.

I will not use it in my house,
I won't use that two-button mouse,
and if you think my poem crass,
well guess what, folks... you can KISS MY ASS!
For I will not use your damn PC,
I will not use it, Jason... I... be!

Copyright 1997, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved.