Hello, Kiki Shelton?

Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. You don't know me. I sat behind you in German class in high school. You don't know me - hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. I sat behind you in German class for three years in high school. You don't know me, but I know you. Hello, Kiki Shelton? I was in love with you for three years in high school. My name's Jason Pettus. You don't know me, but I know you. You had these slender, tall, tan legs. You were the first girl in high school to get her hair cut short. Really. Short. Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. You don't know me.

I sat behind you in German class for three years in high school. High school, you know, 1983. German class, you know, Frau Bender, that short housewife who would play "Neun und Neusig Luftballoons" over and over and over and over and over again. German class. High school. My name's Jason Pettus. You don't know me.

You were on the soccer team. I was in the marching band. You were obsessed with sports. I was obsessed with computers. You listened to the Woodentops. I watched Dr. Who. We spent three years in the same school, three years in the same class, the same classmates, and yet our ships continued to pass each other in the foggy night. I tried. Lord, I tried. Every day, three years, you'd sit in front of me, I would see those soccer legs, I would see that naked neck, and every day, three years, I almost reached out and touched that neck, I almost turned you tenderly and put a kiss onto your lips and told you that you were my girl now, three years I almost, I almost just not quite, I almost, hello, Kiki Shelton? You don't know me.

My name's Jason Pettus. I live in Chicago now. I write stories now. I drink and smoke and do drugs and have sex now. I don't watch Dr. Who anymore. I don't speak German anymore. I still get obsessed with women. But now I ask them out. Sometimes. Now I have sex with them...SOMETIMES! Hello, Kiki Shelton? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't ask you out in high school. I'm sorry we couldn't switch jackets and put our hands in the back pocket of the other's 501s, I'm sorry we couldn't wear each other's Swatches, hello, Kiki Shelton? I'm sorry. You were lonely. I was lonely. We were lonely and scared and so unsure about everything, hello, Kiki Shelton? I'm sorry. I was afraid, I had issues, I had low self-esteem, I never thought anyone would even want to love me, hello, Kiki Shelton? I was in HIGH SCHOOL!

Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. You don't know me. Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. I still think about you sometimes, even to this day. The wind will blow in just the right direction and it will remind me of St. Charles Missouri, Francis Howell High School, a crisp October morning in the O Building, and I will think of you and I will wonder what happened to you. Are you punk rock? Are you a mom? Are you dead? Are you on the women's World Cup soccer team? Hello, Kiki Shelton? You didn't show up to our reunion. You didn't even send in an update. You must have hated high school even more than I did, and that's a LOT. Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. I have my own website now. And you may or may not ever find this, or maybe someone from our high school will see this and pass it on to you, or maybe this'll get printed in some big famous magazine and I'll be rich and we'll all live happily ever after. Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. I hope this letter gets to you. I'm sorry I couldn't ask you out in high school. If I knew then what I know now I would've gladly done so. Hello, Kiki Shelton? My name's Jason Pettus. You don't know me. I sat behind you in German class in high school.

Copyright 1999, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved.