(This is part of a longer article I'm writing for our monthly magazine, on the subject of sexual 'edgeplay' -- roleplaying activities like abduction and dismemberment, that deliberately blur the line between healthy and unhealthy behavior. Click here for part 1, a general overview on the subject; and here for part 2, a review of four clubs I recently visited.)

"I'm still not sure why you would want to interview someone like me," I was told by "Simone" the other night, as we stood in front of an impossibly high brick wall, getting ready for her photo-shoot.

Well, I said, it's because she's a participant in edgeplay here; sexual behavior that is so extreme, it's shunned not only by the general public but by most of the mainstream fetish community as well. And I said that I find that interesting, that she would voluntarily participate in such activities, and that I was betting a lot of my readers would find it interesting as well.

Because let's face it; there is a bit of violence inherent in almost all sexual acts that exist, no matter how intimate or loving they are in general. The lovers who pull each other's hair at the height of ecstasy; the horny teens who give each other hickeys on a basement couch. It's part of the biological impetus behind reproduction, and there's just not much to be done about it; that with all those hormones being released, all that energy being generated, all that thrusting and all that receiving, a desire to push those physical activities in intensity is always going to be a part of the human condition.

However, we've chosen in our modern times not to live like a pack of lawless, rutting animals; we've chosen to live in civilized society, and to suppress most of the id-based temptations that filter through to our consciousness. So what then of those who choose to sometimes break this societal contract? Even through a "safe" environment such as roleplaying in a virtual world, edgeplay activities inherently involve a profound rupture from how we as a society generally relate; it is a deliberate throwback to a time in history we have left behind, when humans were regarded by many more people than now as objects to be bought and sold, owned and abused at whim. Even when it's just cartoon characters, it's still a fundamental shift in outlook that one must go through.

Are edgeplay proponents right -- does such roleplaying end up fulfilling the desires of most who are interested in such activities, leading to a decrease in physical acts in the real world? Or are their opponents right -- that such behavior merely desensitizes the would-be attacker, and encourages them to ramp up their activities into the physical world? Although this is by no means indicative of all edgeplay enthusiasts, I thought it would be interesting to interview at least one participant about why she does it, and what she thought of all the issues just mentioned. The transcript is after the jump; and my hearty thanks goes out to Simone, for agreeing to talk with me in the first place.

In The Grid: Let's just start with what exact type of sexual play you like here, and especially what you find at these clubs.

Simone: Do you mean regular sex clubs or the more extreme ones? [As far as regular clubs], a good av; for me, that's a realistic human av. And a person that can RP. Good old fucking can be very immersive. [As far as edgeplay clubs], my kink is very specific for the most part. I like abduction and rape play, very violent and very real.

ITG: Was this something you fantasized about before coming to Second Life?

S: Yes, but in RL I would never tell anyone about it.

ITG: What is it about the scenario that turns you on?

S: It's the loss of control, the excitement of not knowing what's happening next. Being under a man's control in a very realistic scene.

ITG: Was it something you ever tried in a roleplay capacity before Second Life, like under a controlled environment with a boyfriend?

S: I would be too afraid to bring it up. I have done some soft "tie me up" stuff, [but] nothing that rough.

ITG: So how did you first discover these kinds of clubs when you got here?

S: The search feature. I originally saw the keywords when I was running searches for clothes shopping; then I just kind of kept escalating the kink. Ironically, I was turned off by the BDSM and Gorean communities. I am really here for sex, not to socialize.

ITG: What kinds of edgeplay keywords were you finding by shopping for clothes?

S: Looking for leather skirts or tops, things like that. Just wandering; found the sex clubs right away, then saw the BDSM toys.

ITG: What was the feeling like of first discovering people who shared your particular fetish?

S: Scary.

ITG: Good or bad? Profound, you mean, to discover an outlet for your fetish, or terrifying?

S: I get very immersed [in my fantasies], so it was scary that it could come true. It's all a very disturbing aspect of my sexuality to me.

ITG: Has the roleplaying here helped you get a handle over your desires? Made you understand better where they come from?

S: I think so. I now know my exact boundaries.

ITG: And what boundaries have you found for yourself here? What's something you wouldn't do, for example?

S: I don't do mutilation or bloodplay, beyond some bruising or bloody-lip kind of RP. No toilet.

ITG: What is your relationship like with these subjects and RL? Do you find yourself ever wanting to try similar things in the real world, now that you've tried them out here in the grid?

S: Not really so far. [Although], I'm more interested in women than I was before I signed up.

ITG: They make better dominators?

S: No. [Just that] I like great avs, and most are women. I rarely play scenes with women here, but I am more curious. I have done some threesomes and [other] group sex with women that was very exciting. And two women abducted me recently; that was very fun.

ITG: Do you find there's an emotional element to edgeplay that can relate to other sexual activities? A certain "feeling" you get, that maybe other things can also produce that are less dangerous in RL?

S: I don't know. The scenes make me very excited here. I can get very immersed. I don't think I would try that in RL.

ITG: How does it clash with your role as a contemporary woman, in charge of her own fate? Is it the politically incorrect aspects that help make it so arousing for you?

S: Possibly. It's something I am very confused and disturbed by -- thats why I NEVER play that I like it. I think it sends the wrong message to men.

ITG: Oh, you always play an unwilling victim when RPing?

S: Yes. It freaks a lot of men out, because they expect you to come around during the scene.

ITG: That's what I was about to ask, if this freaks some men out halfway through the scene.

S: I fight and cry and beg for it to stop through the whole scene, always. I made a notecard explaining how I play, and have them read it now. A lot say no when they read it. They want the woman to like it.

ITG: But it sounds like you do find dominant partners who are willing to play along with this type of scene.

S: Lots. But a good [male] av and a good male RPer is still more rare than you would think. I think a lot of the creative males make female avs.

ITG: Yeah, since everyone who does sexual things here has an opinion on it; what's your thoughts on the high number of males here playing female characters?

S: [Ironically], SL is better than most internet chat rooms. [There are] more real women here. But a large number of the female avs are men. For me, since I play with men [in RL], it's no big deal.

ITG: Can you tell halfway through a scene when someone is lying about their gender?

S: Yes. A lot can't dress their avs. Many don't know how to describe sex acts from a female perspective. On the other hand, I don't stress on RL gender. I'm fine with a male playing a female or vice-versa, if he/she is good at the role. I am going to do a [transvestite] soon. She has a wild scene in mind; not really my kink, but I felt like it was interesting and she was finding no takers.

ITG: So has there been a point when it's gotten too intense, even for you? Where you had to unplug the computer suddenly because you weren't sure how much more you could take?

S: I've never had to stop a scene. [However], I have gotten bored and started IMing with friends.

ITG: That's funny. Your assailant was just too lame to hold your attention. I hear that complaint a lot from Gorean slaves.

S: I bet. The "lifestyle" RP here does not interest me at all.

ITG: Would you ever do a scene with non-humans? A pack of furries chasing you in a reverse hunt, for example?

S: Nope. Zero interest. They have some wild RPers, but it's a huge turn-off for me.

ITG: Are you dating someone in RL? Do they know what you do here?

S: Not right now. My roommates know. To them it's just graphical instant messengering.

ITG: Do they know you're doing sexual things here, or just that you're a resident?

S: They just think I shop, and that I'm a nut. I have discouraged them from joining. Luckily they think PC games are stupid.

ITG: Do you find that your partners are mostly people in the same position as you, carrying around these secret desires they don't share with the RL world?

S: I think so. Some of the guys seem so turned on that they can play these roles that they're bursting with excitement.

ITG: Enthusiastic, although maybe not the best roleplayers, it sounds like.

S: It's hard for a basically good, respectful guy to get into this role. Especially since I don't cooperate.

ITG: Harder than for a basically good woman to get into her submissive role? If it's all roleplaying, is there still more of a difficulty getting into one role versus the other?

S: I think so. He has to find creative ways to describe being violent, and abusing a young girl. I can [simply] react a lot. It's not as stressful.

ITG: And finally, let's just talk a bit about how you see this fitting into your future life. Do you think edgeplay is something you'll regularly be doing here as a resident?

S: Yes. I just play the game for sex and to shop [laughter]. It's my main thing here.

ITG: Did you come here specifically because of the sexual things you heard about the grid beforehand?

S: Yes. I was told it was a good place to explore your sexuality.

ITG: Does it fulfill the RL desires you've had about the subject? Do you think you'll open up to a RL boyfriend one day about a possible physical scene?

S: When I get really immersed, it's as if I was there. Now, that's quite rare, but once in a while a scene can seem so real the lines are very blurred. I feel like that is enough for me. I would be terrified to do this in RL. Especially since it would have to involve strangers to feel the same.

ITG: So it sounds like the emotional aspect of it is what primarily arouses you, and that's something you can get from SL exclusively.

S: Yes. Even the more-or-less vanilla sex I have here can be very fulfilling. I do cross over into RL play once in a while during less intense scenes, and that can be very satisfying.

ITG: People in your RL city, you mean, or crossing over into voice/cam?

S: Not locals from here, but masturbating in RL to a scene, or doing Skype/webcam. It's rare but can be fun.

ITG: Is there something special about certain people that inspires you to do that?

S: When they are really good at the RP, yes. I had a threesome on Skype with a RL couple, and it was amazing.