An excerpt from The Circle Jerk Club
My second "favorite" experience was just recently, in fact. It's the one and only time it's happened to me in my year with the club, and I have to imagine that the chances of it happening again anytime soon are equally rare. Namely, I had a couple approach me. A straight couple. Yeah, right, a man and a woman. We'll call them Sean and Jennifer. Sean and Jennifer are one of those great couples in their thirties, living an urban lifestyle and defining their relationship completely on their own terms. They both have interesting day jobs, they both have artistic careers in the evenings and weekends. They both had kind of wild pasts before meeting each other, and they've both been known to have the occasional wild evening even since hooking up.
Sean and Jennifer had found out about the club through a mutual friend of ours, someone who was already a member. The friend had been saying what a cool club it was, and how everyone in it was really laid-back and relaxed and adult about the whole thing, and how the guy who had started it (ah-hah) was this cool-ass guy who was just like them, and how the friend was sure that the couple would really dig this guy (ah-hah!). This apparently had set off a chain reaction within their relationship, which started with a week's worth of quiet discussions in their bed each night, followed by an examination of their sexual fantasies, a quick diagnostic of their relationship to make sure it could survive such an event, and finally a request for my phone number. Which is how I found myself in a coffeehouse one night, asking a rather attractive young woman:
"You want me to what?"
"We want you to masturbate with my boyfriend here, and I'll be on the other side of the room watching."
Hallelujah! It was the pinnacle of the Circle Jerk Club - an incidental homoerotic experience with some good ol' heterosexual subtext thrown in to boot. I had always wondered if a couple was ever going to call the ad or not - I imagine there are a lot of twosomes out there who would enjoy participating in such a thing, but our advertisement was pretty male-oriented. And glory be, they were a hot couple as well. What were the chances of this? Sean was a slender, athletic type, close-cropped blonde hair and a certain slouchiness that betrayed his slacker stature. Jennifer was an actress and part-time temp secretary, also thin, also athletic, with a bob of brown hair that shook like Mary Tyler Moore when she flung her head. Outstanding.
So yeah, you better believe I set up that session as soon as possible. There was a funny start to the evening - almost from the beginning, all three of us could sense that Jennifer was to be in charge of the whole thing. We never discussed it, never had any kind of Soviet-like power struggle. We were simply sitting there at one point, Sean and I on the couch, our beers sweating heavily on the table in front of us, Jennifer in an IKEA canvas chair on the other side. We were baked, man - holy God, we were so baked we barely knew our own names. And Jennifer suddenly leaned back, clapped her hands, and said, "Okay, boys. Let's see some cocks."
Sean immediately had his pants unzipped and his pecker out. I did the same. The two of us sat there, not touching ourselves.
"Are you going to let us watch porn?" Sean said teasingly.
Jennifer replied in a smarmy parody, "No, I'm not going to let you watch porn."
"Well, honey," he said with fake tranquility, "I'm going to need something to jerk off to. Why don't you take your clothes off over there?"
A look of genuine surprise passed over Jennifer's face. "Oh! Oh. Well." She paused. "Oh, I don't know about that."
"Oh, come on. You're about to ask a complete stranger to get naked in front of you and pleasure himself to orgasm. The least you could do is return in kind."
Jennifer glared at Sean, one eyebrow raised. "Are you sure about this?" she asked.
Sean glared back. "Well, I don't know," he replied. "The question is - are YOU sure about this?"
Now, keep in mind that I had my yap shut during this entire exchange. I wasn't about to interrupt the conversation at this point - I could tell that I was witnessing a sophisticated bargaining process between Sean and Jennifer at the subliminal level. It was pretty obvious that the two of them were skirting around an issue that had previously only been mentioned in the sanctity of their bed late at night, seeing how far they could now push each other into actually doing something that had heretofore been simply an idle fantasy. This was like watching a goddamn Middle East peace talk - and believe me, my diplomatic skills were not up to date.
Jennifer turned to me, a serious look on her face. "What do you think?" she asked.
Tread lightly, my dear boy. "Well," I said, pausing for a sip of beer, "Jennifer, seriously, you're a really attractive woman. I don't mean to step on any toes here." I glanced quickly at Sean.
"No, go ahead," he replied, a certain twinkle in his eye. He could see where I was going with this.
"And if you decided to pleasure yourself at the same time as us, that would definitely help me be on my way to an amazing orgasm."
"Besides," Sean rang in. "It'd be such a shame for the two of us to be allowed to have such great orgasms and you not have the chance."
"Fuck off!" Jennifer said, laughing uproariously and throwing a pillow at him. "You just wanna see me play with myself! Admit it!"
"Guilty as charged," he said, throwing his hands in the air.
"Well, see, that wasn't so hard." And with that Jennifer was on her feet, the chain-belt of her pants already clanging around her ankles, revealing a pantyless crotch. Then the indie-label t-shirt was off - no bra either. Bang - in three seconds we had gone from Completely Clothed Girl to Completely Naked Girl. Detante really is a marvelous thing to achieve.
And that was that, really - Sean and I had our clothes off in a few seconds as well, and soon we were all in our respective positions, jerking off. It was a pretty amazing thing to have a woman sitting across from me, pleasuring herself. I mean, for all the guys I've now done this with, hardly any of us make eye contact during the whole thing or even really acknowledge each other until after it's over. It's just the way guys deal with the situation, I guess. Jennifer, on the other hand, was all into the eye contact. She would lock those globes onto mine and, I swear to God, vibe off some kind of lust mojo on me - it was like she had me hypnotized. I couldn't believe I was sitting there, completely naked in front of this hot fuckin' couple, making googly-eyes at a masturbating girl right in front of her masturbating boyfriend.
"Okay," Jennifer spoke up in a husky voice. "Now jerk each other off."
"What?" we both said.
"You heard me. Jerk each other off."
Sean and I turned and looked at each other. I don't know, it was just a little stunning to hear it out loud. We were both in a sort of deer-caught-in-the-headlights daze from the overwhelming effects of Jennifer.
"Oh, for God's sake," she said, standing up. "I've got to do everything around here..."
She walked over to Sean and kneeled in front of him, gently taking his hand and turning it palm-up. Without warning she spit a big ol' glob of saliva in his hand, starting rubbing it around his palm, effortlessly guided it over to my member and helped him wrap his fingers around it. She reached up suddenly and french-kissed him - I mean, a real old-fashioned makeout session. His hand started reacting around my cock in automation, a steady pull and push that immediately started stirring something in me. Before too long, Jennifer had leaned back with a smile on her face, Sean still with his eyes closed and beating a pretty steady rhythm against my drum now.
Jennifer looked over at me. I looked back at her in awe. God, I hope I have a relationship like that one day. Then, silently, she scooted over so that she was now kneeling in front of me. Uh-oh. She took my hand, turned it palm-up, gently caressed it, never breaking eye contact with me the whole time, never saying a word the whole time. She spit elegantly into my hand and rubbed the saliva around, lubricating my palm. She guided it over to her boyfriend's cock, helped me wrap my hand around it and get a firm grip. And God help me, she leaned in and planted a tongue right in the middle of my tonsils. Holy shit, Jennifer's a good kisser. And before I even knew what I was doing, my hand was moving in a rhythm of its own, as if it had its own instinctual sex drive separate from my brain. And considering it was the hand I had been jerking off with since the age of fourteen, you better believe it had its own instinctual sex drive separate from my brain.
Jennifer violently scooted the sofatable away, knocking empty beer bottles over and leaving a patch of carpet on which she laid her naked body. She spread her legs wide, rubbing her feet up and down against our calves, stimulating her clit fast and hard with her open palm. "All right, boys," she said authoritatively. "Make each other come. You can do it. I wanna see the two of you come in each other's hands." Well, how can you ignore a mandate like this? Sometimes you have no choice but to listen to the voters who put you into office. So Sean and I proceeded to really lay into the handjobs, big time. This was Oscar-winning performances of handjobs, my friend. Every trick in the book was brought out. Decades of experience were utilized, finally this time on a worthy other. It was fucking hot -- I cannot begin to tell you how fucking hot it was.
So hot, in fact, that when Sean suddenly leaned over and placed his lips around my dick, it didn't even faze me. Yeah, that hot. "Oh look, Sean's decided to give me a blowjob. Well, that seems okay. And look, Jennifer's gotten up and now she's kneeling in front of him, giving him a blowjob. Oh my -- now Jennifer's giving me a blowjob and I'm bent over, giving one to Sean. Right on." A cock sure tastes a lot different than I was expecting it to. Spongy. Really spongy.
We ended up maintaining this pace for hours - Sean was fucking Jennifer at one point, and I was watching the two of them, jerking off; then I was fucking Jennifer and Sean was kissing her and she was jerking him off; then Sean and I were 69ing and Jennifer was laying on top of us, taking turns kissing us and sharing in the blowjob duties. And Sean and I ended up having two orgasms apiece -- once in each other's mouths and once on Jennifer's face at the same time. We literally lost track of how many times Jennifer came - twenty, maybe? All of her orgasms eventually turned into one big non-ending one. Really, from the bottom of my heart, a life-changing experience.
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