The following can also be found in the book Chicago Stories 1999. Click here to learn more, and to download a free electronic copy.

All right all you stupid motherfuckers, now listen up!
I've always wanted to start a poem like that.

I have the beginnings of a thousand poems in my head
that I carry around with me, looking for the ends
"Last night I had a dream about you again"
"She asked herself one second too late, Why am I making toast in the bathtub?"
"My computer set itself on fire when I typed your name"
I have the beginnings of a thousand poems in my head
and they are desperately seeking their ends to make themselves real.

I've always wanted to start a poem by singing
but I cannot sing.
I've always wanted to start a poem by taking off my clothes
but I'm ashamed of my body.
I've always wanted to start a poem with some phat hiphop...thing
but...well, look at me.

YYYEEEEEEE-HHHAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
I've always wanted to start a poem like that.
I have the beginnings of a thousand poems in my head
poems about my mom
and my dad
poems about love
and hate
and peace
and war
poems about my ex-girlfriend
and my other ex-girlfriend
and my other ex-girlfriend
and my other ex-girlfriend
poems about every single person
I've ever met
you and
you and
you and
you and
you and
you and
you.
I have the beginnings of a thousand poems in my head
and I just cannot seem to find their ends.

"I was in Paris. It was a Thursday"
"I once bought a porn magazine and Beth was on the cover"
"THIS IS NOT A POEM ABOUT YOU"
I've always wanted to start a poem like that.

I wish I could write a poem that was just the first lines of a bunch of other poems
That would be pretty cool.
The first line of a poem is the best part, anyway
It just goes downhill from there.

"I stole my daddy's car on the fourth of July
and I drove it until it ran out of gas."
I've always wanted to start a poem like that.
I have started a thousand poems about you in my head
and in a perfect world
I could string them all together
to make the one most kick-ass poem
in the history of the human race
and I could read this poem
on the pitchers mound in Wrigley Field
in front of 70,000 screaming fans
"She told me she loved me and I didn't know what to say"
"Those anti-depressants were going to kill her and one day they did"
"I would gladly hijack an airplane to come see you today"
and when I was done
everyone would understand exactly what I was talking about
and they'd all do the wave
and start cheering my name
over and over
"Ja-SON! Ja-SON! Ja-SON!"

But poems need endings.
And I cannot write the endings
to any of the thousand poems
I have written about you.

And so I sit in front of my computer,
run my fingers through my hair,
and think about you.

And so I will end
the first poem I have ever written about you
by saying,