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The following can also be found in the book Chicago Stories 1998. Click here to learn more, and to download a free electronic copy.

My fourteenth day without a suicidal thought
is a new record at the plant
recently
and all the employees
are very pleased
with themselves

Fourteen days without a suicidal thought
Two weeks of
white eyes
green bed
black television
mutely colored underwear
with little like little patterns all over them

Fourteen days
I've left the toilet paper on the floor
because
what the hell
why put it in the roller
It's just me.

Fourteen days without a suicidal thought
prompts a surprise parade
at the plant
Big colorful banners
flying in the wind
My face a hundred feet high
High-stepping cheerleaders
marching across Red Square
on May Day
and I am touched.
Truly.

336 hours
of getting turned down for dates
sudden crying jags in the middle of the night
Two weeks of
skipped meals
cigarette butts
drunk landlords
stoned Jason
and still I stand
to tell the story
still the factory hums
with the sound
of full productivity
I am so proud of my staff.

My fourteenth day without a suicidal thought
and how quick a bear market
can twist into bull
How sudden a hero
can turn into a villain
and a martyr
into a saint
How soon a poet
can turn into a factory worker
and a politician
into a dirty old man
It makes me laugh.
Truly.

20,160 little individual seconds
Each their own tiny monster
ready to eat me up
tear me up
drag me down
under and
over the hill we go
20,160 laps around the rollercoaster
over and
over and
over the hill we go again
20,159 laps around the rollercoaster
and still the plant purrs
with the sound of
happy employees
happy union
happy management
and things are so great
I could just spit.

My fourteenth day without a suicidal thought
and we hang a sign
at the plant
under the equal opportunity poster
next to the first aid directions
right above the suggestion box
FOURTEEN DAYS WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT
it says
FOURTEEN DAYS WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT
WE ARE PROUD OF OUR EMPLOYEES
LOOK FOR THE UNION LABEL
MADE IN THE U.S.A.

My fourteenth day without a suicidal thought.
A new record.
Recently.

Copyright 1998, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved. This was published under a Creative Commons license; click here for details. Contact: ilikejason [at] gmail [dot] com.