books | hyperfiction | photos | about | contact

The following can also be found in the book Chicago Stories 1997. Click here to learn more, and to download a free electronic copy.

I.
I dreamt that she got back to the apartment
at four in the morning
really drunk
when I was already asleep
in the living room
and that she took all of her clothes off
except for her t-shirt
and crept into the living room
and unbuckled my pants
and fucked me right there
on the port-a-cot
right there
and then

II.
There's been this cat
hanging out on my friends' porch
all weekend
It's not their cat
It's somebody's cat
‘cause it's got a collar
but somebody who is not
taking care of the cat

Anyway, the cat hangs out on the porch
all day, all night
and just meows up a storm
every time I step out
for a cigarette

Meow meow meow

And purrs
and rubs itself all over my legs
and headbutts its face into my hands

And I sit out there and smoke
and I say,
"What is it, kitty?
Why are you meowing?
I can't understand you.
I'm not a cat.
What are you trying to say to me, kitty?"

I dreamt last night that the cat told me.

"Meow meow REM has sucked ever since ‘Lifes Rich Pageant'"
"Meow meow meow I don't have any opposable digits and can't pick off these damn fleas I have meow meow"
"Meow meow meow I keep getting the bad shift at work it's like the owner has it out for me meow meow"
"Meow meow meow why doesn't Pavement ever play in Columbia anymore meow meow"
"Meow meow I'm hungry can't you tell MEOW meow MEOW I'm hungry gimme some fuckin' food MEOW MEOW!"
"Meow meow I never wanna see another Bauhaus t-shirt as long as I live meow meow"

and then I woke up.

III.
I dreamt that I went to college with Parker Posey
and actually dated her for a little bit

and I was back in Columbia
and everyone wanted to know what she was like

and I said,
"Well...
you know...
she was a little crazy.
But she was nice.
She was nice."

IV.
I dreamt that
instead of hanging up the phone
she told me to come over
right then
at five in the morning

"Come over,"
she said

"I need you over here right now"

Copyright 1997, Jason Pettus. All rights reserved. This was published under a Creative Commons license; click here for details. Contact: ilikejason [at] gmail [dot] com.